Here are ways to help you safely let out your anger
and use yOur breath to relax
Fun ways to let out your anger
Letting out your anger can be fun. Often anger is something people get into trouble for or wish they did not feel. This can cause us to hold it in. When we hold in anger, though, it builds up and eventually we explode, just like a balloon that gets too full of air pops. It makes sense then that letting out your anger is important when it is small so that you don’t explode and say things you will later regret or hurt someone or yourself. There are many fun and creative ways to get out anger that kids and even adults may use such as:
**Blowing all your angry breaths into balloons and popping them (just blowing them up makes you take in deep breaths). Make sure to pop it in a safe and appropriate place- it tends to be loud!
**Making what you are mad at out of playdoh or clay, telling it how you feel, and then you can smash it or destroy it.
**Drawing what you are mad at and ripping it up or smashing it into a ball and throwing it at the wall.
**Writing what you are mad about on a small piece of paper and then taping the paper to the bottom of your shoes and go for an angry walk to stomp it out.
**Screaming into your pillow or hitting your mattress.
**Ripping up old junk mail or newspapers.
**Yelling in the shower (you can even get a wet wash cloth and throw it against the wall inside the shower).
**Telling a stuffed animal how you feel as if they were what you were mad at.
There are many many other ways to let it out. See what you can think of!
**Blowing all your angry breaths into balloons and popping them (just blowing them up makes you take in deep breaths). Make sure to pop it in a safe and appropriate place- it tends to be loud!
**Making what you are mad at out of playdoh or clay, telling it how you feel, and then you can smash it or destroy it.
**Drawing what you are mad at and ripping it up or smashing it into a ball and throwing it at the wall.
**Writing what you are mad about on a small piece of paper and then taping the paper to the bottom of your shoes and go for an angry walk to stomp it out.
**Screaming into your pillow or hitting your mattress.
**Ripping up old junk mail or newspapers.
**Yelling in the shower (you can even get a wet wash cloth and throw it against the wall inside the shower).
**Telling a stuffed animal how you feel as if they were what you were mad at.
There are many many other ways to let it out. See what you can think of!
Relaxation skills: deep breathing….Ahhhhh
This is a series of relaxation and other coping skills to use when angry, hyperactive, anxious, or just to reduce you stress level (use these activities when you need to calm yourself down; Remember that these often need to be done repeatedly and daily to help).
**Deep breathing: While practicing these count (in your head) to 4 as you breath in and hold the breath for a second and then count to 6 as you breath out. When you breathe in imagine you just walked into your kitchen and are smelling cookies that just got out of the oven.
**Belly breath: Breath in and out through you nose while pretending there is a colored balloon in you stomach and you are slowing filling it up with each in breath and empty it out with every out breath.
**Hot breath: Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth while making a “HA” sound. This is similar to what you do on a cold day to warm up your hands.
**Cool breath: Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth as if you are blowing onto hot soup or a hot drink.
**Sipping breath: Breathe in through you mouth with your tongue rolled or with your tongue on the roof of your moth, which makes a kind of sipping noise and breathe out through your nose.
**Ocean breath: Breath in and out through your nose as you have your tongue at the back of you throat and feel your breath roll down your throat and down your body.
See how long you can hum with one breath and then try to beat you record.
**Blow bubbles: See how big of a bubble you can blow.
**Blow on a pinwheel: See how slow you can blow and still maker it spin or how long you can make it turn in one breath.
**Deep breathing: While practicing these count (in your head) to 4 as you breath in and hold the breath for a second and then count to 6 as you breath out. When you breathe in imagine you just walked into your kitchen and are smelling cookies that just got out of the oven.
**Belly breath: Breath in and out through you nose while pretending there is a colored balloon in you stomach and you are slowing filling it up with each in breath and empty it out with every out breath.
**Hot breath: Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth while making a “HA” sound. This is similar to what you do on a cold day to warm up your hands.
**Cool breath: Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth as if you are blowing onto hot soup or a hot drink.
**Sipping breath: Breathe in through you mouth with your tongue rolled or with your tongue on the roof of your moth, which makes a kind of sipping noise and breathe out through your nose.
**Ocean breath: Breath in and out through your nose as you have your tongue at the back of you throat and feel your breath roll down your throat and down your body.
See how long you can hum with one breath and then try to beat you record.
**Blow bubbles: See how big of a bubble you can blow.
**Blow on a pinwheel: See how slow you can blow and still maker it spin or how long you can make it turn in one breath.
Lemon Lime Adventures has two great page with many other ideas for calming anxiety, sensory overload, and anger in children with tools such as glitter calm down jars, fidget toys, anti-anxiety tool kit, a squish box, breathing exercise and more:
Links I like
Meditation and relaxation tools:
Tools for calming anxiety:
A great page for PTSD in general, but this specific page has simple instructions for breathing exercises for stress, anxiety & PTSD: http://www.new-synapse.com/aps/wordpress/?p=1195
Stop Panic and Anxiety Self-Help App: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.excelatlife.panic&hl=en
Inc. shares an article and link to a song that can reduce your anxiety just by listening to it: http://www.inc.com/melanie-curtin/neuroscience-says-listening-to-this-one-song-reduces-anxiety-by-up-to-65-percent.html
Depression:
Dr. Josh Friedman wrote an article on how breathing can help reduce depression: https://integrativedepressionsolutions.com/breathing-way-depression/
He has another with wonderful information about managing your depression through what way you eat: https://integrativedepressionsolutions.com/3-steps-take-find-right-diet-youre-depressed/
Parenting Resources:
Hey Sigmund is a wonderful resource with many articles that may be helpful to ourselves and our relationships with others.
Here is one in particular about how parents can use play therapy principles to enhance their relationship with their child. http://www.heysigmund.com/play-therapy/
This is another helpful article about how anxiety in children can often look like anger and what to do: http://www.heysigmund.com/anxiety-or-aggression-children/
A wonderful article about ways to approach an angry child: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/renee-jain/26-phrases-to-calm-an-angry-child_b_9997288.html
A great resource with useful tips and tools to calm separation anxiety with preschoolers: http://www.sugaraunts.com/2016/10/tricks-to-help-with-separation-anxiety-preschool.html
Educational and use article to teach your child about emotional regulation: http://www.mindful.org/how-to-teach-your-kids-about-the-brain/
The Mommy View shares insight into why saying calm down to your child doesn’t work and what to say and do instead: http://themommyview.viewsfromastepstool.com/index.php/2016/07/06/saying-calm-down-doesnt-actually-work/
She also has some tips on calming an angry child: http://themommyview.viewsfromastepstool.com/index.php/2016/04/10/tips-calming-angry-child-plus-8-calming-tools-anywhere/
Excellent article with phrases to use to reconnect with an upset child: http://idealistmom.com/how-to-reconnect-with-your-child/
PBS has a wonderful description of belly breathing for kids: http://www.pbs.org/parents/adventures-in-learning/2015/09/calming-breathing-exercise-for-kids/
Lemon Lime Adventures has several effective tips for parenting an upset child.
This first one is for calming an angry child: http://lemonlimeadventures.com/13-helpful-phrases-calm-angry-child/
This second one is for calming an anxious child: http://lemonlimeadventures.com/what-to-say-to-calm-an-anxious-child/
This third one has tips for things you can do when words are not working to calm an anxious child: http://lemonlimeadventures.com/15-ways-to-calm-an-anxious-child-when-words-dont-work/
This fourth one is about Sensory Breaks, which use simple exercises to keep kids focused, calm and alert: http://lemonlimeadventures.com/sensory-break-ideas-for-kids/
Integrated Learning Strategies has a great article on how exercises that cross the midline of the body can help kids focus: http://ilslearningcorner.com/2015-11-why-crossing-the-midline-activities-helped-this-child-listen-to-his-teacher/
Go Zen has a very help article with 49 phrases and ideas to help you calm an anxious child: http://www.gozen.com/49-phrases-to-calm-an-anxious-child/
Annaka Harris shares exercises to practice mindfulness with kids: http://annakaharris.com/mindfulness-for-children/
Military Family Support:
VA support for PTSD, anger, anxiety sleep difficulties, and stress: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/apps/ptsdcoachonline/default.htm
PsychArmor is a wonderful organization that offers free resources to military caregivers and families as well as professionals: http://psycharmor.org/caregivers/?mc_cid=95f38ef18c&mc_eid=f45b8541a7
Focus Project San Diego is a free resource for military families that teaches practical skills to help families overcome common challenges related to a parent’s military service: http://www.focusproject.org/home
There are many great services through the local Fleet and Family Services: http://navylifesw.com/sandiego/families/ffsc/
The San Diego Military Family Collaborative is also a good place to look: http://sdmilitaryfamily.org/
Through San Diego Unified School District they have many resources including free online tutoring for military families: https://www.sandiegounified.org/military-family-resources
Real Warriors also has tons of resources and information: http://www.realwarriors.net/family/change/MFLC.php
Grief Groups:
Elizabeth Hospice Center for Compassionate Care many support groups for grief and a camp for children who are grieving: https://elizabethhospice.org/services/counseling/center-for-compassionate-care
For those who have had a loved one die due to suicide, this is a wonderful resource: https://www.soslsd.org/support-groups/
Jesuit Social Services have a great page providing support to people bereaved by a suicide. This link is about how and what to communicate with children about a suicide: http://www.supportaftersuicide.org.au/what-to-do/communicating-with-children
LGBTQI resources:
The largest program in San Diego is The Center which has many programs, events, support groups, and services: http://www.thecentersd.org/programs/
They also have a Hillcrest Youth Center that offers services, activities, and support as well: http://www.thecentersd.org/programs/youth-services/hillcrest-youth-center.html
Art Therapy Tools:
Higher Perspective has this article with quick and simple ideas about ways art therapy can help with different emotions: http://www.higherperspectives.com/art-therapy-1472847002.html
Intuitive Creativity has a list of 100 art therapy exercises: http://intuitivecreativity.typepad.com/expressiveartinspirations/100-art-therapy-exercises.html
Resources for parents with children with special needs that are struggling in school:
TASK is a great resource agency that offers education and resources to help parents learn about IEP (individualized educational plans) and other resources to support their child’s academic success: http://www.taskca.org/abouttask.html
The UCSD School of Law offer free legal resources if needed for parents of students with disability such as IEP eligibility and 504 plan support: https://www.sandiego.edu/law/free-legal-assistance/